I woke up with pain under my right shoulder blade. It’s an old Wii Just Dance injury that I revive every few months while sleeping awkwardly. My husband pulls out our trusty muscle massager and massages the injured part of my back for a few minutes, our tradition after these hard mornings. We talk about a host of things during this time: mostly the decimation of the Voting Rights Act, where we would move, and what would need to happen to make it so. He sees the panic setting in for me and calmly changes the subject. As he’s massaging my shoulder blade, he asks, “If given the choice, what legendary monster would you choose to become? A vampire, werewolf, dragon? As he’s listing more and more monsters, I cut him off and I say, “an eldritch horror.” Hubby pauses his actions, looks thoughtfully into the ceiling, and then looks down at me, asking, “Like a Cthulhu?” Now, I was actually referencing the eldritch horrors in Monstress by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda. But deep dives about the BIPOC reimagining and reclamation of Lovecraft’s racist stories can be excessive at 5:30 am.
“Yeah”, I say, “I want to end all of this as quickly and as indiscriminately as possible.”
A simple reason for this answer is that I’ve always found these monsters fascinating. The horrors I’ve encountered in Nana by Brandon Massey, The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle, Hammers on Bone by Cassandra Khaw, The City We Became by NK Jemisin, and the aforementioned Montress graphic novel very rarely die. They are massive, cosmic entities that have the power to obliterate humanity with little effort. And that’s what I love most about these monsters. Unfortunately, being of a proper American mindset, I believe in overwhelming force. I play video games with this mindset. I tend to research with this mindset, collecting as much research as I can before laying out my argument. Monsters with this ability can get the job done as quickly as possible.
Monstress by Marojorie Liu and Sana Takeda. Summary: A teenage girl struggles to overcome the trauma of war in an alternate, matriarchal 1900s Asia that’s brimming with arcane dangers. This task is made all the more difficult by her mysterious psychic link to an eldritch monster of tremendous power—a connection that will transform them both, and place them in the crosshairs of both human and otherworldly powers. 
The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle Summary:People move to New York looking for magic and nothing will convince them it isn’t there. Charles Thomas Tester hustles to put food on the table, keep the roof over his father’s head, from Harlem to Flushing Meadows to Red Hook. He knows what magic a suit can cast, the invisibility a guitar case can provide, and the curse written on his skin that attracts the eye of wealthy white folks and their cops. But when he delivers an occult tome to a reclusive sorceress in the heart of Queens, Tom opens a door to a deeper realm of magic, and earns the attention of things best left sleeping. A storm that might swallow the world is building in Brooklyn. Will Black Tom live to see it break? 
Nana by Bandon Massey Summary:Monica Stephens never knew her birth mother. Raised by a strict but loving adoptive parent, she blossomed into a woman with a thriving career as a pediatrician and a family of her own. But sometimes, she wondered about her origins. Especially her biological mother. Until Grace arrives. Confessing to be the birth mother Monica had long wanted to meet, Grace quickly becomes an indispensable member of the Stephens household. Cooking their meals. Looking after the children. Comforting Monica when the family dog is inexplicably killed. Tending to Monica as she falls ill to a mysterious sickness that, every day, makes Monica look and feel older. Meanwhile, Grace is looking better. More vibrant. More youthful. More seductive… Monica’s husband, Troy, knows something is up. He launches an investigation into the woman who demands to be called “Nana,” and has taken over his home. But the truth is beyond their wildest imaginings. It seems Grace has done this before.. 
Hammers on Bone by Cassandra Khaw Summary: John Persons is a private investigator with a distasteful job from an unlikely client. He’s been hired by a ten-year-old to kill the kid’s stepdad, McKinsey. The man in question is abusive, abrasive, and abominable. He’s also a monster, which makes Persons the perfect thing to hunt him. Over the course of his ancient, arcane existence, he’s hunted gods and demons, and broken them in his teeth. As Persons investigates the horrible McKinsey, he realizes that he carries something far darker. He’s infected with an alien presence, and he’s spreading that monstrosity far and wide. Luckily Persons is no stranger to the occult, being an ancient and magical intelligence himself. The question is whether the private dick can take down the abusive stepdad without releasing the holds on his own horrifying potential. 
The City We Became by NK Jemisin Summary: In Manhattan, a young grad student gets off the train and realizes he doesn’t remember who he is, where he’s from, or even his own name. But he can sense the beating heart of the city, see its history, and feel its power. In the Bronx, a Lenape gallery director discovers strange graffiti scattered throughout the city, so beautiful and powerful it’s as if the paint is literally calling to her. In Brooklyn, a politician and mother finds she can hear the songs of her city, pulsing to the beat of her Louboutin heels. And they’re not the only ones. Every great city has a soul. Some are ancient as myths, and others are as new and destructive as children. New York? She’s got six.
However, my answer also stems from my current readings of Virginia Hamilton’s speeches and essays titled Liberation Literature. Hamilton is a renowned children’s book author who believes in the power of storytelling, its ability to examine societal truths, and the freedom that can be achieved through literature. In the very first essay, “Thoughts on Children’s Books, Reading, and ethnic America”, Hamilton boldly states:
“In a conflict world such as ours, we have but two choices- one for life and one for death. In order to live, we must persuade one another through language communication that every life is equally valuable and that all life is worth living. But if we should decide that persuasion is too time-consuming and that, indeed, individual life is not worth the effort, then we might get on with the business of killing one another on a grand scale-– man-to-man and one-on-one the world over and have the annihilation be done with.”
(Hamilton,11)
In America, we are, and have always been, in a “conflict world.” From the violent seizing of Indigenous land, to the barbarism of American chattel slavery, to the horrific grind to equality, only to have progressive measures snatched away in the last few years. In foreign affairs, the American government is a cruel and manipulative bedfellow to many nations, creating a hostile environment that seeks to benefit the ultra-wealthy. Funding and actively participating in genocides. This country was born of conflict and does next to nothing to resolve the historical implications of its actions.
But, for now, we still have the ability to speak and write of these transgressions publicly. We can shout, protest, and create stories and art that highlight what life could be like if we treated everyone with dignity and led with love. What would this world look like if we treated everyone fairly? If we dismantled oppressive systems and stopped worshipping capitalism? What if we actually taught history through the lens of the oppressed? What if we treated this planet like the fragile organism it is? What if we worked on healing wounds instead of created new ones?
The minute we lose that hope, lose that drive to save everyone, I want to be the eldritch horror that kills indiscriminately. One that can rip apart bunkers for the rich and powerful with the same level of chaos as a monster destroying poor neighborhoods. I want to be the monster that ends the terror and the horrors we live in quickly. It sounds vile but, for me, it is mercy. We live in an unhealthy society. We have no real attachment to the planet and the powers that would would rather see us suffer than share their horde. I’d rather end it quickly and let the world become something different. Give those of us on the lower rungs of society a chance at living a life with dignity and respect.
This probably a naive take but I’m losing hope. And I know this path is a warning in many other stories (Box of Bones, Bitter Root, etc.). Despair is starting to creep in and I’m terrified of day I lose all hope. Maybe this is what Tom felt when he made that deal. Hopefully, this feeling is temporary.
If you know of any other eldritch/cosmic horror stories written by Black and Brown folkx, let me know! I love reading and collecting them!!
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