I’d rather be an Eldritch Horror: Early Morning Musings

I woke up with pain under my right shoulder blade. It’s an old Wii Just Dance injury that I revive every few months while sleeping awkwardly. My husband pulls out our trusty muscle massager and massages the injured part of my back for a few minutes, our tradition after these hard mornings. We talk about a host of things during this time: mostly the decimation of the Voting Rights Act, where we would move, and what would need to happen to make it so. He sees the panic setting in for me and calmly changes the subject. As he’s massaging my shoulder blade, he asks, “If given the choice, what legendary monster would you choose to become? A vampire, werewolf, dragon? As he’s listing more and more monsters, I cut him off and I say, “an eldritch horror.” Hubby pauses his actions, looks thoughtfully into the ceiling, and then looks down at me, asking, “Like a Cthulhu?” Now, I was actually referencing the eldritch horrors in Monstress by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda. But deep dives about the BIPOC reimagining and reclamation of Lovecraft’s racist stories can be excessive at 5:30 am. 

“Yeah”, I say, “I want to end all of this as quickly and as indiscriminately as possible.”

A simple reason for this answer is that I’ve always found these monsters fascinating. The horrors I’ve encountered in Nana by Brandon Massey, The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle, Hammers on Bone by Cassandra Khaw, The City We Became by NK Jemisin, and the aforementioned Montress graphic novel very rarely die. They are massive, cosmic entities that have the power to obliterate humanity with little effort. And that’s what I love most about these monsters. Unfortunately, being of a proper American mindset, I believe in overwhelming force. I play video games with this mindset. I tend to research with this mindset, collecting as much research as I can before laying out my argument. Monsters with this ability can get the job done as quickly as possible.

However, my answer also stems from my current readings of Virginia Hamilton’s speeches and essays titled Liberation Literature. Hamilton is a renowned children’s book author who believes in the power of storytelling, its ability to examine societal truths, and the freedom that can be achieved through literature. In the very first essay, “Thoughts on Children’s Books, Reading, and ethnic America”, Hamilton boldly states:

“In a conflict world such as ours, we have but two choices- one for life and one for death. In order to live, we must persuade one another through language communication that every life is equally valuable and that all life is worth living. But if we should decide that persuasion is too time-consuming and that, indeed, individual life is not worth the effort, then we might get on with the business of killing one another on a grand scale-– man-to-man and one-on-one the world over and have the annihilation be done with.”
(Hamilton,11)

In America, we are, and have always been, in a “conflict world.” From the violent seizing of Indigenous land, to the barbarism of American chattel slavery, to the horrific grind to equality, only to have progressive measures snatched away in the last few years. In foreign affairs, the American government is a cruel and manipulative bedfellow to many nations, creating a hostile environment that seeks to benefit the ultra-wealthy. Funding and actively participating in genocides. This country was born of conflict and does next to nothing to resolve the historical implications of its actions. 

But, for now, we still have the ability to speak and write of these transgressions publicly. We can shout, protest, and create stories and art that highlight what life could be like if we treated everyone with dignity and led with love. What would this world look like if we treated everyone fairly? If we dismantled oppressive systems and stopped worshipping capitalism? What if we actually taught history through the lens of the oppressed? What if we treated this planet like the fragile organism it is? What if we worked on healing wounds instead of created new ones? 

Current Read: Liberation Literature by Virginia Hamilton

The minute we lose that hope, lose that drive to save everyone, I want to be the eldritch horror that kills indiscriminately. One that can rip apart bunkers for the rich and powerful with the same level of chaos as a monster destroying poor neighborhoods. I want to be the monster that ends the terror and the horrors we live in quickly. It sounds vile but, for me, it is mercy. We live in an unhealthy society. We have no real attachment to the planet and the powers that would would rather see us suffer than share their horde. I’d rather end it quickly and let the world become something different. Give those of us on the lower rungs of society a chance at living a life with dignity and respect.

This probably a naive take but I’m losing hope. And I know this path is a warning in many other stories (Box of Bones, Bitter Root, etc.). Despair is starting to creep in and I’m terrified of day I lose all hope. Maybe this is what Tom felt when he made that deal. Hopefully, this feeling is temporary.

If you know of any other eldritch/cosmic horror stories written by Black and Brown folkx, let me know! I love reading and collecting them!!

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One response to “I’d rather be an Eldritch Horror: Early Morning Musings”

  1. In hindsight, the intro gives “first world problems.” But i’d be lying if I said anything else. It was during a school winter break, when I brought my Wii in for the kids who voluntarily came to the school. I severely underestimated what 6 hours of Just Dance and no stretching would do to my body.

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